Ok, so there's this thing about having a child on the other side of the world that makes a body uncertain. Sure, there's the "almost & not yet" chorus in my mind, but there's also increasingly on my part a growing realization of my cognitive limits. Of course Chinese New Year brought with it some more fresh yummy pictures, and Youyou is indeed the most adorable little guy, but I don't even know him yet!! There is no rush of fond emotion, as in, "My son!"--there are moments when I am soooo very thankful for his caregivers, women who must love him immensely to connect with him in the manner they do when armed with a camera. Just look at that photo! It's the kind of photo I would want to take of my son, and there it is, and it's been taken by a strange woman who will always be his first love. It's so strange to think now that when he does get here--and by the way, April certainly seems to be the earliest that could happen at this point--he'll cry at some point for want of his ayi, his first day-to-day mother. And this new mother will be at a loss. Yikes!
The couples who have been fortunate enough to request waiting children through the new electronic process don't know how good they have it. Yesterday marked 12 weeks since we sent our letter of intent requesting our little boy. It also brought a fresh newsletter from our agency, in which they happily proclaimed that two couples who requested children via the new CCAA system submitted their letters of intent on January 24 and have received their Seeking Confirmation letters just 2 weeks later. They're slated to travel before we will. That little boy, born in April 2005, may well be three before we see him.
God grant me patience.
1 comment:
OK, I am so incredibly angry about this further delay... and the only way I can gain any peace is to make a conscious effort to remember that God lets nothing happen without a reason... So distract yourself from frustration with the mental exercise, What Is The "So That..." In This Situation?
* Is this delay "so that" you will have time to over an illness that might hamper your travel?
* So That more money will be raised for your trip?
* So That You-You will have arrived at a developmental stage when he can attach to you more easily?
So That you will have time to finish child-proofing your home?
* That you will be more relaxed?
* So That you will gain more faith?
I guarantee you that the day will come where you thank God that he gave you this delay... it may be that you won't know Why on this side of heaven, but when you and Shane and You-You stand before God, you will rejoice.
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