Thursday, September 18, 2008

time

I was looking at Chelsea Gour's great blog last night, and I realized it's been 3 weeks since I wrote. Fear not, gentle reader, this implies no lack of action on my part--in fact, there's been a lot of action in the Caudill household. A quick update...

YoYo is speaking almost entirely in English, although we still use limited Chinese. We don't want him to lose that language. We've enjoyed playdates and are looking for a way to do preschool. I've been emailing with the families completing adoptions of his buddies! And we traveled to SC for a few days.

We've visited a TON of doctors. A checkup at the pediatrician was good, although he sent us to an ENT. YoYo has hard wax in his ears, so the ENT visit ended with him strapped to a board and screaming while the doctor recommended ear drops & a return visit. Our first trip to the dentist was bad--we were swiftly sent to a pediatric dentist with the recommendation that "sleepy juice" should be involved (for YoYo, not me). Then the pediatric dentist took a looksee at YoYo's awful teeth and cheerfully outlined a $ 4500 plan to cap and fill them while he's under anesthesia so they can last long enough to fall out naturally in a couple of years.

Then, there was the first Sunday School. Honestly, I was just hoping to see if he was ready for a classroom, and Sunday School comes in a small dose--a little over an hour. He clammed up at first, then was a totally new man when the prospect of graham crackers emerged. Does that count as revival? The class headed to the playground briefly, and suddenly Mr. "I'm not making eye contact with anyone here" was on top of the tallest slide, arms in the air, yelling, "Everybody look at me! Mama, YoYo is all the way up here and EVERYBODY else is down there." So, great-he speaks English well enough to reveal that he's a megalomaniac.

Oh yes. We had our 6 month post adoption visit with our agency. What? We've only been home 4 months now, you say? Well, that's true. Our agency is downsizing and is closing ALL regional branches in the nation, leaving only its headquarters open. Our branch director was thoughtful enough to make a plan for our third/final post placement visit, turning our file over to another agency. We'll have to pay the difference in fees, as that agency's present cost for post placement stuff is higher than the fee we paid upfront to our agency last February. In the middle of closing the branch that she thought she'd be working with for the rest of her career, the regional director was kind enough to move our 2nd post placement visit forward so we wouldn't have to pay extra for it and would get taken care of in a timely manner. There have been some moments of mercy with our agency, as bad as it has been at other times, and I am so thankful that this was one of them.

The waiting parents are not so lucky. They had a chatgroup that was moderated by our agency. As regional offices began to close, it seemed each region was left to make its own exit plan. So far, our regional director did the best job of communicating and caring for clients. Other regions sent emails to partial lists of people, leaving many waiting parents to find the news via chatgroup. The panic that ensued was predictable, as was the anger. The same program director who was deaf to my fears last November when I drove to St. Louis first reprimanded these parents for their posts, even calling some at home to scold them for causing "anxiety" for others online. A few days ago, the agency closed the chatgroup with a reminder of the contract parents had signed with them--parents should not abuse or be disrespectful toward agency employees, the letter said, referencing parents' mean, selfish spirits in their complaints and negativity towards staff in the chatgroup. The letter went on to remind (threaten?) folks that if clients didn't uphold their end of the contract, the relationship could be terminated at the AGENCY'S DISCRETION. Oh, yes, you read that correctly. The agency director even went so far as to tout that staff members prayed collectively every morning for God's will to be done. I hate when that gets all weaponized.

Ah well, that's enough for the moment. You chew on that, while I go put papers together to prove to our insurance carrier that YoYo is our son. And then I have to give Vanderbilt some spending money. And then I have to see if the translation of our adoption certificate is finished. I'll come back. You know it.

ps-I love this kid-he's so amazing. I'm not even smart enough to keep up with him, but I'll run as hard as I can!