running to stand still

I am amazed with every hour that passes now.

Yesterday, we finally received word of Tian You's measurements and weight. Congratulations, we're the proud parents of a 25 pound, 34.5" tall baby boy. My heart swelled with joy, and just before I could burst forth into sparrow-like song (think strangled sparrow), I remembered the first favorite photo I saw of him, with those chubby baby armlets. Oh, how I hope there's still some baby left in that little boy!!!

We got a new photo, a notice that our travel package is on the way (not the same as travel dates--this is just a packet of forms), a new $4000 grant from Gift of Adoption, a gift of $250 from the Tri-M music honor society at CPA, (only $ 3000-$ 4000 to go!), visited Shaohannah's Hope, and gave notice at school that I would not return next year.

What? How much could happen in a day? Well...I thought it was a little slow, so I asked our agency to change the spelling of our son's name to Tian Yo for easier pronunciation. Did I mention our estimated group travel date is May 9? Which means our personal estimated specially-approved one-week-early travel date is May 1?

Strange, that. In my spare time these days, I'm learning interesting things that no agency tells parents. For instance, if you've got a kid with ostomies, you have to pre-cut catheters and such prior to boarding a plane or entering an American consulate, because those guys get squeamish around scissors. Afraid of the sight of blood, I guess. Then, if you've got a kiddo with a bladder made of bowel tissue, you'd better be sure to tote bottled water with you because he'll need sterile water to flush that bladder every day. Additionally, if you're picking him up from a foster home, odds are all his equipment has been donated and is equally needed by other children, so you'd better pack your own stash of ostomy supplies for two weeks when you leave the US. How do I know? Research--endless reading in the wee hours. No agency guidelines here.

I spoke with the inestimable Kathy McKinney today, and the whole time, I marveled at how much information we have going into this. REALLY-I cannot take it for granted. EVER. She exclaimed, "How many folks don't have that kind of access to the information you've been able to get for this little guy and find themselves just lost? What do folks in rural places do when they don't have anyone handy to turn to?"

My point exactly. I wonder, more and more, how many hopeful parents find themselves accepting a child with far greater needs than they anticipated, knowing all the while that there will be no help forthcoming from their agency and that their home community is still perhaps struggling with questions like, "Why'd you have to get a kid from China? Were the American ones not good enough?" and, "Why'd you want one with problems anyway? Didn't you get what you asked for?" Where is their hope?