This Kid

I have to admit it, I've had a hard time posting. It's hard to know what to write or how to talk about the settling in of a daily rhythm when the events which led up to it were so incredible. Everything I carry now as I look at this little boy, from kissing his toes to knitting my first little boy hat to feeling his tiny hand pat my face as he murmurs, "I love my girl," seems like the treasures that are stored up in any mother's heart. They are no less precious, but they're a different thing from the journey that brought us here. It's probably entirely ungrateful of my heart, but I find myself reluctant to blubber Momminess everywhere, as though it would tarnish this incredible thing that has happened. I have a lot to learn, I think.

We still exist in this world where our son has a life that played out before we came along. There are photos in so many places of him, some even in distress in hospital, that I don't know of and will never see. I don't feel unsafe in that; instead, it reminds me that we are so blessed to be part of such a larger image of God's love for one small child.

Shane jokes that YoYo is Bono--but there is still that rock-star like feeling sometimes. I staffed a booth in October for Shaohannah's Hope at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert. When we approached the table at the beginning of the evening, my Mom poked me. "Hey, that's YoYo." Sure enough, he was the poster child on the tabletop "November is Adoption Awareness Month" display, clutching his pink dog and looking upwards with Precious Moments eyes. Mom, in the Most Proud Grandparent in the World mode, told every single person--and I mean that--who that little boy on the poster was. This kid! Who has that happen to them?

Then yesterday, we collected our mail and found a catalog from the adoption agency. As many negative things as we experienced with them, I still have to say in fairness that their sponsorship program for orphans with special needs helped give YoYo lifesaving medicine and daily supplies. We opened the catalog, which highlights sponsorship information for several countries...and found a full-length YoYo, his two-year-old hands clutching a Christmas ornament, his feet snuggled in footed pj's capped with panda faces. They weren't soliciting funds on his behalf, mind you, it just so happens that he's the most beautiful child in the world, and who else would make such a convincing case that all children are precious?

Of course he laughed at it. He has no idea that there's anything unusual about his photo being on random pieces of mail or news video links. Why wouldn't he see himself on TV or in other people's posters? It doesn't seem to be a fixation-he doesn't constantly ask to see pictures of himself-so perhaps I won't obsess over that for now.

But he is adorable. And yesterday, in the greatest of all gifts in the world, he proudly gave me his first hand-turkey at preschool. I am such a lucky girl.



P.S. That toothless grin? We had oral surgery the day before Halloween (tragic!), and it turns out he had a LOT of infected teeth. We're getting "new teeth" in a few days, but moments like this make me think twice-so cute!